Best Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide By Tracy Schorn

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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide-Tracy Schorn

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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity -- but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters -- their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the-cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Combining solid advice that champions self-respect, along with hilarious cartoons satirizing the pomposity of cheaters, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on Stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, Rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, Why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more. Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead.

Book Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide Review :



Finally, straight talk about infidelity that doesn't do any of the following:*place blame on the victim of the betrayal ("Affair proof your marriage!" "How did you drive your partner to cheat?")*excuse, legitimize or minimize infidelity ("Monogamy is unrealistic." "Anyone could cheat." "Maybe it's a sex addiction.")*cast infidelity as modern, sophisticated, and completely natural ("The affair was an act of exuberant defiance! A quest for aliveness!")What this book does do is portray infidelity exactly as it is and offer THE BEST advice to those who have been betrayed. Chump Lady calls it like it is with a great sense of humor about a painful topic. Infidelity has become increasingly seen as something that "just happens", something that is caused by situations and external factors, rather than by a cheater's defective character. As Chump Lady points out, there are two very respectable things for people to do when they are unhappy in a committed, monogamous relationship--work on things or break up. But cheating on your partner, risking their health, lying, manipulating and gas lighting them is not respectable, decent or kind. It is cruel, abusive and yes, wrong. And why stay with a partner who is capable of doing such awful things? I read a lot of books after facing the soul-crushing realization that my partner was a cheater, and this was the only one to tell it like it is. If you're dealing with the terrible pain of betrayal, this book is immensely helpful. Highly recommended!
I wish Tracy Schorn's Chump Lady site or her book had existed when I discovered my x was cheating. Maybe I could have gotten out after 3 years of marriage rather than 11. He cheated the entire time. I might even have been able to avoid the marriage altogether. There were signs, though I misinterpreted and excused them. My experience agrees 100% with one of Tracy's premises: cheating is a deal breaker in a relationship except in rare and extraordinary circumstances. In my case, despite his many protestations and promises, the x continued to cheat and continued to want to be married.To those in the early stages or who have a high tolerance for broken promises (as I once did), the tone may feel too harsh. It took me a while to accept its accuracy and necessity. The longer you try to act in good faith with a known liar, the more pain and damage you will suffer. The information in this book will help open your eyes. Anyone who cheats without confessing is a practiced liar. It takes a lot of lies to cheat and cover it up. I know this is hard to accept about someone you love. It's part of what makes what should be a straightforward, though agonizing, situation so confusing.You need an ally by your side, someone who can help you understand what's happening and what options you have. Your usual advisers may not know how to deal with cheating. The rules are different. For one thing, cheaters don't follow all the rules. And they have their own rules that they don't share with you. That alone can create a crazy dynamic. Even if you're inclined to reconcile, I hope you'll take Tracy's perspective into account. It will open your eyes to some important things. I wish that had been an option for me. It would have saved me heartache, wasted years and exposure to STDs.My heart goes out to anyone whose circumstances led them to this book, but I'm glad you've found the clear-minded advice it contains. I hope you take advantage of it as part of your support system.

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